Respect

Over the weekend, as I was working on a piece for my column, a thought came across my mind as to how to define the word Respect. Respect is a term that seems to be undervalued and misunderstood more often than not, especially when you deal with different environments, such as schools, on business trips, in social gatherings and even in relationships.  Many people are of the opinion that respect has to be earned, meaning a person has to sacrifice certain things that are valuable to him/her and embrace that of others.  Yet that is not the real definition of Respect. Respect has two meanings that are different yet they seem to be related to each other.

The first meaning of respect is winning the hearts and souls of others by being successful in a certain realm, whether it is as a teacher in school, a CEO at a company or even a student in academia. It does not take much to win respect from others, and it can be easily won in no time, just as much as you lose it, if you lose your face because of scandal or a series of mishaps that degrades you in one way or another. Therefore trying to win respect from others does not necessarily define respect. Respect can be one that is earned, but it is one that is a given right, therefore the second definition:

The second meaning of respect is acknowledging and liking a person for who he/she is and what he/she does. That person whom you may try and either mock or change may come from a different background where traditions, customs and mentalities are far different than yours. Therefore it is important that these people are respected for who they are and what they do, and that changing their ways can only be possible if that person sees the need to do it. This type of respect is a given right because of the comfort zone the person is in and how he/she handles things differently. This given right unfortunately has been undermined because of external forces that are changing the way we think about our values.

Of course some changes are necessary so that we have a more harmonious environment, as we deal with issues like discrimination, environmental problems, globalization and culture identity, and politics that seem to have become sour. However, how much change is necessary in order to gain respect from others without losing one’s own identity?  I’m afraid to say that when looking at people in the hallways in school or at the university, as well as on the streets today, many of them seem to have lost their own identities as they drown in their Smartphones, streamline education to become human calculators and herds of cattle heading to the business world, and striving to earn the respect of the “society” consisting of mono-culture led by the select few. We seem to have lost the given right of respect and replaced it with the earned respect that is never to be earned without making sacrifices that will make us pay dearly in the future.

So as a little food for thought, ask yourselves this question: How do you value yourself as a person? Are you being respected by others just by the respect that is being earned or are you being respected based on who you are as a person and what you have done to make yourself  happy? Chances are one in two of us are ignoring the respect as a given right and are trying to earn respect from those who either could care less or would love to see you put away somewhere out of sight and out of mind. If you are one of them, write down a list of things are characteristic of you, followed by what the people like about you. Then ask yourself how you have changed over the past few years and whether they were for the best of worst. If the latter, then it is time to make the changes that will make you feel like yourself again.

Remember: Respect is a given right. Only when you are happy about yourself will you make others happy. And in return, the people will respect you for who you are and not by how you earn it.

My two cents on this topic.